My life

has changed SO much lately. 

I finally got a license,

Im finally moving out and getting my own place, 

I am finally getting a car, 

I learned to stop being selfish…..

I guess now I need to learn to control my emotions better,

it’s hard to do though when all I want to do is talk to you about everything and you barley want to talk, maybe I deserve it for how I treated you while we dated, I wasn’t the best to you, so I dont blame you for flipping the script on me to show me how it feels. Good job, Ive never been more sorry for anything in my life, and I mean it. 

I miss us more than you can know, and I pray it works, maybe it wont if I keep acting as paranoid as I have been, but when I love someone I can’t stand it not to be near them, and I wear my heart on my sleeve, I don’t front on my emotions. 

Maybe that’s what it will take, I dont even know though, right now I’m terrified of you cause the ball is in your court, it will be for a long time because I hurt you so much. 

But I swear if you could stop being so closed off, and get mad at me any time i get the slightest bit emotional then this will work, I know it will.

And yes we will fight, but I honestly don’t want to fight with anyone else. I don’t want anyone else. I want YOU. 

Im sure if you read this it will turn you off, that’s what I’m best at right? Pushing you away? First I pushed you away cause I was angry, with myself but that’s not important. Now I’m pushing you away just because I am trying SO hard to be what you want and need so this will work. 

I love you, please dont go anywhere.


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